The Rational vs. Irrational Heart

The rational side of me knows that fantasy relationships that are portrayed in movies are just that - fantasies. However, the irrational side, the hopeful romantic, refuses to acknowledge that fact. That side is more stubborn than the rational side. It is fueled by all the romantic comedies I watch with a mixture of bitterness and faith and the stories of fate bringing around true love - my parents are one such story.

Yet I don't really try to find such glorious love for myself because I want fate to do all the work. My Dad says that I must expect my true love to knock on the door and ask for a cup of sugar. It makes me laugh but it's kind of true; in that I don't go out to bars or join clubs where I could meet a suitable man. Work is an obvious no go - don't shit where you eat. Though I do admit to a crush on my now boss. My friends don't have any friends for me. "You wouldn't be interested in any of them", they say and they are probably right. There is also the inner conflict between my hopeless romantic side and my pickiness. But I can't help but figure that lowering your standards negates the whole perfect love thing. Also too, my mother, and she's always right, told me when you meet the right guy everything clicks. However, my grandmother always said "never say never" and she began the legacy of being consistently correct. My Dad was divorced and a salesman which were both on my mom's NO list but when she saw him that day at the club, she felt her stomach flip: she knew this was the right person for her. The element of magic is what I am really yearning for. A couple friends say, "Hey, why don't you and so & so hook up - he's cute, smart, and doing well for himself." It's not that I'm against turning a friendship into something more but what about the fireworks; the butterflies?

Maybe the answer is as simple as turning off those mushy movies, ignoring cute couples around me, and being ready to date the guy who's shorter/younger/smokes. Um, not quite yet - I guess desperation hasn't quite set in. Give me a few more months!