I get that life isn't simple, some people have it easier than others, and that it is way too short, but what I don't get is how it sometimes feels like my life is falling apart and why I can't seem to stop it.
I've always been quite the drama queen. I tend to get caught up in the melodrama - this can't be happening to me?! It is a character flaw but it is one of those things that makes me who I am. I take after my aunt; she also had the flair for the dramatic. But now in my life, there is really is a lot of drama swirling about that justifies my normally over-dramatic reactions.
Number 1: I am overweight. Not hugely important in the grand scheme of things as I am still relatively healthy - not obese or anything, just a about 10 pounds more than my healthy weight range. On an average day, such a thing doesn't bother me. I still strut around thinking that I look pretty darn hot...but lately I've started to feel that maybe I am a wee bit delusional. I mean I can't keep thinking I am so fly when there don't seem to be any men/boys/males out there who share that opinion; not counting my doting father of course.
Which brings us to number 2: I am single. Well, duh that is after all the basis of most of my blogs but lately it is feeling a bit more single: single in a bad, lonely way. And it shouldn't - I have a group of single girlfriends to go out with and we have an awesome time kicking up our heels at the local dance hall etc. I guess the problem is that when we go out, all my girlfriends (some more than others) get hit on. Yes, the guys are usually a cross between a troll and a wart hog, but that really isn't the point - if I can't even attract questionable guys, then how am I going to attract Mr. Right? I am all for the independent woman vibe, doing her thing, taking care of herself but that is feeling a bit more trying as of late because...
Number 3: I am unemployed. Yup, Miss Smarty Pants doesn't have a job. And even though corporate restructuring is at fault and not my personal performance (they were like "you're fabulous but we just need to spend less money...") it is still a slap in my probably-not-as-pretty-as I think face. I've always been the world's best, VIP of employees so to have someone actually choose to have me be the one to go is a bit heartbreaking (okay, a lot heartbreaking). So now I am totally stressed out with bills to pay and summer upon us when the companies aren't hiring and I am feeling totally lost.
I know I need to be positive and look at the bright side of these problems: I can lose weight & curves are very in right now, I don't have to put up with a sleazy boyfriend, and I now have a chance to get a kick ass job that I love...so why do I feel so down? Why am I breaking out in rashes? Is the Fabulous Ms. DeMilo exterior crumbling?
So my question people is this: am I just hitting a bump in the road or are things truly falling apart?
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2 comments:
How do you know one of the trolls isn't Mr. Right? As for bumps on the road of life, well, I'd say the road has never been paved to begin with. Life is a series of neutral events. Living is our positive/negative reaction to them. But I understand, unemployment blows. It's easy to pontificate when you don't consider the minutiae of day-to-day living.
Well Im Colombian, and im living in Canada right now.
While i was reading you i though that i was reading my self.
Its not bad to be 1o pounds "overweight"!:. and if u are not getting the guys u want.. well i dont know how to answer that one, cause i dont get any too. Every guy gets a girl at the end of the night and im always here in my room kicking out the horny couples that thinks that my bedroom is a free motel!.. hahhaa.. its kind of funny but at the end.. you start to feel lonely and to get that feeling of: "What im doing wrong?"
Unemployment blows like the guy before said!...
Peace!
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